On the middle of the road.
Shreds
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Dear Shreds,
Would you never forgive me,
would you never do?
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would you never write to me,
would you never see?
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would you always ignore me,
and would you never show me you?
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I dont ask for something that I cant,
I ask for something that I could,
I ask for a momentary bliss I want,
I went through every day of pain that I should.
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Are you rude to me for what I am?
or is that my nature is what is so crude?
is it that nothing can be changed?
is it that it will always be like this?
Success,
Jerry.
Shreds
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Dear Shreds,
in a different color, in a different style
I try not to think about what happened
even sunrise and sunset
I try to forget you every moment
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I wake up and I find a day has just passed,
I drive to office & think this one would too,
Every time… all the time.. I think about you,
its happens more when I have got nothing else to do.
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Somethings are hard to believe,
somethings never can be.. too,
of all of them & more I have,
is to understand – why I miss you.
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Each day I see the book, see the pictures,
I will forget, I hope i would,
not that what I have caused to you,
its that I have left it of no use….
Success,
Jerry.
Useless pondering.. 2
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all is sweet, all like fruits..
all like so mine.. all so true..
–
I am just glad to think of you..
and its all that sweet in thoughts of mine..
and its all mine .. and its all mine..
–
rising up the mood.. u be here with me..
whatever u said.. i know you didnt mean..
i know .. i know..
i know that you dont know that..
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and i know that you will never know that..
and its all the rains and seasons that will be..
that will not matter to you.. will not for me.
–
Useless pondering
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I am still singing to me,
there is noone with me, there is no need,
but to stop this thing is not let your soul free,
sooner, or later, its going to come and set into a river
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a river of regrets,
a river of sorrow,
whose destination is set(sea),
and there’s no reason to follow,
as she knows, she forgets the past,
she moves and looks for new curves,
it finds mountains and it changes its path,
and it experiences a tale thats worth a share.
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its dim & its dark,
and its something I am not sure,
there’s noone to forgive,
there is noone too your’s,
we come alone and we die alone,
and we also get raped over this,
its slow, this pain, right under the skin,
it touches the brain through the neves so soon..
What do I do?
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When anguished,
very often, what do I do?
When agonized,
heart says- what did I do?
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Do you crush the pillow?
Or shall I medidate for a momentary bliss?
What happens after the pillow is dead?
Or what happens after I come to world from this?
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Are we all by ourselves?
by birth and till the end?
What do we do when the self doesnt suffice?
Shall we wait for god?
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Sad..
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Sad I am,
or have you done that to me?
broken who is?
Is the one rotten inside?
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a rained discomfort,
out of rage & discontent..
refrains the self &
never curtails the reasons for discomfit?
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but this aint about comfort,
nor is it about anger,
this is about what one did,
this is about what it triggers
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I think- if you say that this is about me- I’d agree.
I think- if you say it all depended on me- yes, this all was my impulsive spree….
Behaviour
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Well, I was just thinking- what is it that really matters when it comes to our relationships, make-ups, breakups etc. Is it intent or is that behavior that matters?
I have been with people for whom nothing matters… surprised?
see if the person with whom you are in a relation or something and that the person we are talking about is kinda so very consumed by themselves then in that case- nothing matters.
If we divide people into broad categories.. there would be people and see the number of people who are mostly influenced by one particular thing, that particular thing would be behaviour.
but whatever you say, at the end of the day… its the people whom I am talking about.. of the ‘people’ I still think about and I guess I will keep on thinking about till the end.. (well thats funny right? I mean.. you wont believe that I really dont want to indulge in this kind of ditch where there is nothing but mud and dirt and I ‘wallow’ in misery).. but I dont know why.. why why.. I have not been able to do anything about that..
May be I am a moron or may be the very trait of my character that is sticking to things is at test and that I really want to give up.. anyway.. what I have figured is this esay that I started with an intent to write about our behaviours or the behaviours that I have seen and experienced and closed and talked about some personal misery.
Anyway.. so coming back to behaviour.. there are people who are like not that very intelligent to understand that the behaviour may be like a mask that a person is wearing and intent is right there behind the mask. There are people who dont understand that the intent of such people who are wearing these masks may or may not be the same as there behaviour.. I know .. and that sometimes the behaviour seems suspicious but the intent of some people is so pure and pristine.. and thats what I had and always will have…
So what I am trying to say is- if you have to make a realtionship work.. you have to
1. Understand the intelligence level of the person whom we are talking about.
2. Plan and do stuff that matters to the person.. if its really the intent(and if you really care about the person) then you dont need to worry things will be automatic.
but yes in a case when your very intent of a relationship is dubious and that it doenst matter, in that case you have to take care of your behaviour and you know.. put it across in such a way that makes people comfortable..
Anyway. I will write more of this rubbish stuff when I find time.. but I can assure that these things are based on my personal experiences.. 
Moron Managers..
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Have you ever been told that you are impatient and that too in a angry and furious way… ? I would say the person who says this himself/herself is a impatient person..
Welcome to the world of IBM.. now there is no general statement that we can make out of so huge organization, but if you look at it in such a way that- whatever is in front of your eyes.. actually builds the perception behind the eyes( I mean our brain); the point that I am trying to make here is.. I am not sure how.. but there are people who are at places & designations.. when they are not at all worthy of being there..
Now just because you can use flowery phrases or because you can wear gorgoues attire.. you dont become a extremely intelligent person.. you are nothing but a asshole if you dont say stuff, that you say you will do and you become a bigger shitholder if you commit on that.
Anyway… such is the world.. however.. I think all our worries are insignificant if we have a special one near us… now its just that, that we dont realize how close/far our near ones is actually there.
Its funny
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Memories..
Its funny .. how we meet people, we move on, we meet yet another people and then again move on.
Now some of us are like.. they want to stick to things. They really want to move on and on and on. They want to be at some stations for sometime, they want to make the stations their homes, before the time forces them to move on.
Its funny I still go to places in my memories, where I would have always wanted, where my heart lies, but the people I want are not there, no body, nobody because may be.. they thought I was a wrong station or may be I was not a destination, and people do think about me as a possible destination but for them I am not the one they want… I know its dismal.. but thats what it is.
Its sweet to remember the instances that led to sour ones, I still remember the table in the mall next door where I met these ‘people’ and where I still see people .. but nobody waiting for me.. as it was expected to, I had to move and so did the people.. but ultimately where does it end? Is it all we are supposed to do? live?
I am sure you would say .. live for what?
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- Sweet and sour memories…
The next text
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the road dust, the lower crest,
is where I am, is where we are,
apart from what rest say, the best -
is what you are, is what we may have been… lest.
the next text, the next crippled page,
the next must, the overtly stated rage,
and I am not the sage, the only 1 haste.. that i did,
raised your fingers, baised me rather & broke my world.
This shower, that unrest, are both related,
both are unbridled, both are ungated, unsaid, untold,
both are mine, are for you, for the past & forever,
rate my heart, rate myself, rate what I did & see the surge.
